From Control to Calm: How Surrendering Eases Stress and Anxiety
We all have moments where we desperately want to control our surroundings, emotions, situations, and even the outcomes of our lives. The desire for stability is deeply ingrained in us, yet ironically, the need for control often leads to more stress and dysregulation.
At its core, our nervous system plays a significant role in how we respond to the world. It regulates our brain, spinal cord, and nerves, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions. When activated, it can send us into fight-or-flight mode, even in seemingly harmless situations, such as worrying about the weather before a picnic.
For many, past trauma—whether from childhood, intergenerational experiences, or adulthood—shapes how the nervous system reacts. Despite being physically safe, the body can respond as though danger is imminent. Recognising these patterns allows us to retrain ourselves to remain present, regulate our responses, and step away from chronic stress.
Why Do We Get Activated?
When we experience stress or trauma, our body instinctively gathers evidence to reinforce our fears. If a child once felt unseen in social situations, their nervous system may continue to interpret interactions through that lens, reinforcing feelings of rejection. Over time, these experiences can lead to chronic stress and increased cortisol levels, contributing to physical issues such as high blood pressure, digestive problems, and a weakened immune system.
Understanding our triggers and the way our nervous system functions is crucial to fostering resilience and emotional well-being. Instead of resisting stress entirely, we can learn to regulate our responses and support ourselves through mindfulness and self-compassion.
Letting Go of What We Can’t Control
Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up responsibility—it means recognising where our energy is best spent. Here are a few ways to ease the grip of control:
Assess Your Stressors – Identify the areas where you feel the need to control but ultimately have little influence. This could be the behaviour of others, traffic conditions, or unexpected changes in plans.
Practice Mindfulness – Ground yourself in the present through meditation or breathwork. Focusing on what is, rather than what might be, reduces overthinking and lowers cortisol levels.
Set Boundaries & Delegate – You don’t have to do everything alone. Ask for help, share responsibilities, and create systems that support your well-being.
Embrace ‘Good Enough’ – Striving for perfection often leads to exhaustion and frustration. Instead, accept that things don’t have to be flawless to be meaningful. Flexibility and adaptability bring peace of mind.
Regulate Your Nervous System – When feeling overwhelmed, pause and bring awareness to your body’s response. Small shifts, such as adjusting your morning routine to prevent stress or reframing setbacks with curiosity rather than frustration, can make a significant difference.
Final Thoughts
True balance comes from knowing when to take action and when to release control. By aligning with the natural flow of life and supporting our nervous system, we create emotional resilience and long-term well-being. The next time you feel the urge to control a situation, pause and ask: Is this within my power? If not, how can you surrender with grace and trust?
If you’re ready to begin your own healing journey and reconnect with your soul’s true essence, I invite you to visit www.chellegriffin.com to learn more about the transformative spiritual practices and healing services available. Together, we can explore the path toward healing, growth, and sovereignty. You don’t have to walk this path alone—let’s walk it together.